What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
Homeless Jokes
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
If you are homeless, get a home.
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
You're homeless, you orphan!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.