New Homeless Jokes

A fat homeless person begged me for food so I said “I can see your dinner you had plenty”

What do orphans and garbage have in common? They’re both in the street and no one wants pick them up

I look at my gf’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can

Like it’s my next meal

I saw a homeless dude and gave him 1$

I saw a homeless woman and gave her 0.77$

Homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge

A homeless man is walking along a road, and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home she said yes, so I took it

What do you call a homeless Hitler? A roofless dictator.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people but they just don’t work

what is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

the cat is actually cute

Madeline McCann must of been homeless or something she was sure eggar for the free candy

-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-

a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"

she says "im going to jump"

the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"

the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says

"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter? You can shit a load inside of a prostitute but if you try it in a shelter you get arrested.