New Homeless Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an orphan with parents?

Idk, I never met one before.

Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

An orphan.

Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

Because they can’t find one.

lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

He's homeless. Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Sheer) survivor...The other :No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.

My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?

Pooreos.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?

Hobo Fett!

(This isnt a joke)

There was a homeless family in need for a room. But, The guy said no more rooms because they were Homeless......... So, they got into a barn..... And, the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. And, Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, That little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

A starving homeless kid asks me for food.

I said, "sorry, my plate is full."

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.