Homeless jokes
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
If you are homeless, get a home.
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
You're homeless, you orphan!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀