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Home jokes

Cat

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Orphan

How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.

Memes

Orphan

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

Orphan

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Babysitting

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

Orphan

Why do orphans suck at web design?

They don’t know what a home page is.

Mummy

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

Night

I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.

Orphan

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

Jeffrey Dahmer

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

Taco

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Back Door

Gay

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.