Home jokes
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.