Home jokes

What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.

New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Orphans: Where are my parents?

Random person: In the bed.

Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.