Home jokes
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Memes
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!