Home jokes
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why is willb103 so funny?!!
Because he made the joke home page!!!
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.