She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
what is an orphan's least favourite game? 44-homes
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
"Aren't you going back home now?"
"No, I am going back home."
why can't an orphan build a website, because
it won't have a home page
