New Home Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.