Him jokes

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.

Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?

So the haters could SUCK on him!

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”

The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.