Him jokes
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!
Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
Orphan more like “poor”phan because nobody likes him! :)
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.
FUCK EMO KIDS!
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.