Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was to afraid to tell him.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!” A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?” The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!” Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
I was walking with my black best friend and he was meeting my parents and after I got there they said who’s this? I said well I own him
One day I was very happy, I managed to win lottery and receive free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia! Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived towards me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why is he doing this only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruin my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
my friend lives in a caravan park his parents named him money because they thought it was a type of currency
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
it’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
i shouted at a kid I told him to get his parents
it was the last time I worked at an orphanage ,🤣
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
She responds: “see that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “but mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged did not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
This morning I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend about reincarnation I said to him if you could come back in the next life as anything what would you come back as and he thought about it for a minute and says a tree that way everybody can look at me and admire me. Then he says the same thing to me I started thinking about it when these two sexy half naked studs walked by one was a jock the other on his bicycle I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat but knowing my luck I'll come back as a tampon
😴 🛌 ⏰️ ✋️ If a gay male is married to a well-endowed physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up do he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up? Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob
