HI jokes

Wiener

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Tire

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Memes

Difference

What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?

Hitler knew when his career was over.

Cannibal

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

"5 second rule!"

Case

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Dick

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Orphan

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

Tire

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Mama

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Plane Ticket

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

Guy

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Hairline

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Lamp

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Friend

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

Mama

Yo mama so fat,

Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.