HI jokes

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

Why did the golfer change his pants?

Because he got a hole in one!

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Where did the pirate pay his taxes?

Aye, Argh, Sea.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?

A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!