HI jokes

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Why was the orphan stupid?

Because his parents couldn't guide him.

Me: Hi Jacob!

Jacob: Hi.

Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!

Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Hi Trent!

Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

His life.

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.