HI Jokes

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.

He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his
lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

Why did the golfer change his pants?

Because he got a hole in one!

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.