HI jokes

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Hi, I hope you’re

Hi, Larry.

Bye, Larry.

Hi, how are you today?

Hi? Bye.

Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.

Hi, my name's Dixy.

Dixy Normis.

Hi boo!

When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!