What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Hes Jokes
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
