Hes jokes
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Memes
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.