Hes

Hes jokes

Pi

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Necrophilia

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Nut

Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?

He ate 12-year-old nuts.

Orphan

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

Mama

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

Emo

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

Kid

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

Hitler

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

Orphan

Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?

He is waiting for his dad with the milk.

Suicide hotline

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

Laptop

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Gene

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.