Hes jokes

Why is Donald Trump so mad? Because he is a Trumpet!

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.

I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

He's white on the inside.

He's orange on the outside.

And then there's that stick!

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?

Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

A: You're the chairman of the board!

Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?

Because he had a crush on her.

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

Why did the gay guy say the n word? Cos he's retarded.

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.