Hes jokes
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Why can't the cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.