Hes jokes
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
Memes
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.