Hes jokes

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

He wanted to be wanted.

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?

A: By how much he's coffin.

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."