Hes jokes
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
He sing, he dance, he he.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
Memes
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.