I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Hes Jokes
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldnβt stand up?
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldnβt climb up the stairs to heaven.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. ππ€£
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when heβs mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you donβt make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
Thatβs where he met my stepmom.
