Hes jokes
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Memes
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.