Herring jokes

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!