DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
