Herring jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

Yo momma's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list in her hand.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.

Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.

My friend: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: O B C D.

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.

She handed her an application through the mirror.

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.