Herring jokes

Neighbor

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

Punch Line

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

Rape

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

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  • Rape

    What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

    Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

    Fetus

    A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

    The fetus: "lol same here."

    Memes

    Trampoline

    I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

    Orphan

    What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

    You don't have to meet her parents.

    Hill

    Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

    Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

    Mom

    When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

    Orphan

    Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

    Because she wanted that D.

    Incest

    The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

    Sally

    Knock knock?

    Who's there?

    Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.

    Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.

    Exam

    Why did Sally fail her final exam?

    Because she had nothing written down.

    Girl

    What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

    Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

    Car

    A girl called me ugly.

    So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

    Girl

    A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

    Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”