Herring jokes

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.

What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?

The rope would catch her.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.

I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

Yo mama so fat, Flash couldn't run around her.

I went up the temp girl and slapped her tests and said-

"I like ya cut, G."