Herring jokes

I'm freshfry. I don't know what Alya's problem is, but just leave her alone, ok? Thanks.

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”

Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.

Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.

Why did Sophia cross the road?

To eat her nuggies!

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

*having sex on lexapro*

Her: Cum for me, baby!

Me: I'm trying!

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.