Herring jokes

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.

Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!