Herring jokes
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Memes
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jillβs real name was Randy.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember youβre French.
My sisterβs birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.