Herring jokes

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?

Reading her rights!

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.

Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

Why was the emo mad?

The picture got hung, not her.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.

The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."

Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.