Herring jokes

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.

POV: Her name is Alli.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.