Herring jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?

Crack/her

What do you white people use as pronouns?

Crack/her.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

An emo girl dyed her hair red.

Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]