Herring jokes

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.