Herring Jokes

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"