How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
Her Jokes
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Yo mama so stupid, her favorite color is clear.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
