Her jokes
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."