Hellen Keller jokes
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"