Helen jokes
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.