Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
