Helen

Helen jokes

Orphan

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Ex

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

Helen Keller

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

Helen Keller

Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?

Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.

Sex

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

Class

You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.

Nose

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Plunger

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.

Gift

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.