Helen jokes
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.
Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.