Helen jokes
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.
Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.