Heavy jokes
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*
Community talk
According to the last post, voters picked Jamal to "Hide in a nearby gay strip club".
*THIS STORY HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT, DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY ANY OF THE JOKES*
Episode 2: The Sticky Situation – "Ebony Ass Shake in the F*g Den"
Jamal sprints his black ass into "Rainbow Rodeo," a sleazy queer joint packed with flaming white twinks, burly bears, and thirsty Latinos eyeing fresh meat. The bounce… Read more
Extremely depressing poem I wrote last year when I tried to kill myself
They were an inch wide and a centimeter deep But I don’t remember the length As I passed out in fear I remember staying pure Not being afraid of what I could do But I broke that years ago Last year, they used to be a millimeter wide and a nanometer deep An inch long I cried yet it wasn’t enough for me I remember being hot The wool sweater … Read more
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.
It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more