Hearing jokes
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...
My life.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"