Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C (Extra cholesterol)
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne"
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie It’s called finding chemo
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con
have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game sonic x? Just google sonic x shadow
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun? Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
