Health

Health Jokes

Boob

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Circumcision

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

Tongue

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

Lead

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Epileptic

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Miscarriage

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

Pharmacy

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

Grandpa

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Difference

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

Male

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

Pepper Spray

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

Vegetable

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.