Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
when my grandpa was 65 he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
he's 70 now and we have no idea where he is
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
a few men have curved penises but they can fix that problem by straightening it out
Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex.... He died of hearing aids
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic
Plus she's too young to smoke
Breaking news man with altiemers forgets he’s blind and recovers form visual impairment
while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming
What if your Corona Test is neutral?
1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
Yo momma so fat when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make-do with health insurance.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctorz?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
Your friend lost his left arm and After getting Out of the hospital you ask him if he’s OK He says yeah I’m all RIGHT
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't
why cant a orphan get vaccine. they need parental permission
Doctor : I can't treat you ORPHAN: WHy! Doctor :I'm a family Doctor
