Health Jokes

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why? -You have to be alive to have autism.

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN’S JOKES are the disease

Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Doctor: what is your zodiac sign?

Patient: cancer why?

Doctor: what are the chances

Patient: of what?

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS

If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr* On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*

If certain diseases spreads in water, why does Africa have them?

A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.

Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

@DreamBlue

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today. Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow? Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you. Orphan: Why? Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left

Health and safety tips: looking at your hairline is hazardous, for your best interest please look away.

Technoblade should have drank milk, would have gotten rid of all his status effects!

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