Health

Health jokes

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.