Health

Health Jokes

Therapist

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

Guy

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Dad

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Chemo

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

Viagra

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

Wheelchair

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Movie

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the dentist?

To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.

Doctor

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

Dairy

What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?