Hawking jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.