Hawking jokes
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.