Hawking jokes
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.